How poor copy destroys trust and costs you customers—[with examples]

• Trust takes time to cultivate—but poor copy destroys trust in an instant
• Words can take you on a journey, but they can also interrupt that journey
• How do you create copy that engages and keeps people reading?
• The long and short of it is length doesn’t matter when your poor copy destroys trust
• Let’s look at some examples of copy that destroy trust in the product or service
• The “ick” factor is high, but not for the reasons you assume
• Connotation—another way poor copy destroys trust
• In Korea, you should use native Korean-speaking copywriters and proofreaders
• Someone should’ve given this attempted translation a red light
• Engaging content and error-free copy are your best chance to avoid poor copy that destroys trust

You know the importance of making a great first impression. You’re also aware that you only get one chance to make that great first impression. When presenting yourself online, that first impression comes in written form. Whether a social post, website, or email, your first contact with new customers is via the written word. And poor copy destroys trust.

There is so much competition for people’s attention online. You don’t want to give potential customers any reason to leave your website or delete your email. You don’t want them to unfollow you on social media because you inadvertently offended them. 

One of the great SEO and internet gurus, Neil Patel, writes about how important writing is. He lists several stats about how many startups go broke within their first few years. He says many of them cite a lack of market need as the reason they failed. But I suspect what they meant is that they couldn’t attract enough of the market. It’s likely poor copy was partially responsible for their failure.

Trust takes time to cultivate—but poor copy destroys trust in an instant

One of the points that Patel makes is how writing creates trust in your brand. When somebody comes into your store or office, you can use many tactics. You can greet them, smile, offer them coffee and speak to them in a friendly and respectful way. You start winning over their trust. 

But when you are interacting with them online for the first time, those strategies don’t work. You can only deliver a professional-looking website with a clear, engaging brand message.

An element of creating trust in this situation involves rhythm and flow. If your writing lacks that flow, potential customers become bored. They don’t form a bond with your brand—and they leave your site.

A great writer is capable of crafting a story that will keep people enthralled. Some movies suck you in, keeping you on the edge of your seat, waiting to see what happens next. With others, you lose interest and stop watching halfway through. The same thing happens with a well-written book. Where do you think the expression “a real page-turner” comes from? 

Words can take you on a journey, but they can also interrupt that journey

The words you write determine if the reader will turn the page—or close the cover, never to pick up that book again. You want to do the former with your website. You want to keep your potential customers engaged and interested. Your goal is to want them to be engaged and keep scrolling.

Successful authors write, rewrite, and rewrite passages and sentences until they’re perfect. The ideal phrase can be the difference between someone turning the page or closing the cover. You try to craft a story that will keep potential customers engaged and reading your website. Even when you do everything right 98% of the time, one moment can ruin everything.

A site visitor has read almost to the end of the page. The call to action is a few lines away. You’ve spun your tale and lured them in. But then an awkward sentence with a glaring typo smacks them in the face. 

The spell is broken. You’ve lost them. Imagine a phone ringing during the tense climactic scene in a movie. It completely breaks the spell. The moment is ruined.

How do you create copy that engages and keeps people reading?

The first thing you want is someone who can write well. Not an award-winning novelist, but you want somebody very familiar with the language. You want a writer who knows how to write, edit, and rewrite. You want someone who’ll keep searching until they discover the perfect word or phrase. 

It is 100% possible for people who aren’t native speakers to write compelling copy. But in most cases, native speakers have a distinct advantage. If you use a copywriter who’s writing in a second language, I urge you to use a native-speaking proofreader. 

Even when the ideas are there and organized well, it only takes one small mistake to bump readers. A non-native copywriter is more likely to use poor word choices or awkward phrases. A native-speaking proofreader can ensure all copy comes across naturally and flowing.

You can always use non-native-speaking proofreaders. Non-native-speaking proofreaders may ironically be more knowledgeable of grammar rules. But they may be unable to distinguish the nuance of two similar words. Besides, the more familiar you are with the language, the easier it is to spot mistakes. 

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about a mistake I made with my Korean Instagram hashtags. Even when this typo was pointed out to me, I struggled to see the error. I finally found and corrected it. But a native Korean speaker noticed it immediately, with ease—and he wasn’t even looking for mistakes.

The long and short of it is length doesn’t matter when your poor copy destroys trust

The other issue with bad copy is that it doesn’t keep people reading. Many top copywriters believe each line of copy has only one purpose—to get you to read the next line. You strive to keep people reading until they reach your call to action. If you’ve done your job well, the reader will take that action. 

Boring, awkward, error-filled copy doesn’t keep people reading. They’ll stop long before reaching your call to action.

Such copywriters argue short copy is more effective due to our short attention spans. But even with succinct copy, readers need to stick around until your call to action. 

Others argue that long copy is more effective. They claim that long-form copy delivers more information. But it also must be more engaging to keep readers interested to the end.

This week, I’ve scheduled a post on Instagram about a company claiming to be very professional. It’s scheduled for Tuesday, but you’re getting a sneak peek!

There’s one small problem—they misspelled professional. If I were considering using their services, that mistake would tell me all I need to know. If they can’t spell professional right, what other details did they overlook? What other shortcuts did they take? 

If you can’t be professional about your own company, you’re making a bad first impression. A native English speaker wouldn’t have missed that mistake.

With one of my clients, every piece of copy that goes live is announced to the team. Everyone then checks it for typos, incorrect links, and other errors. Every piece of copy undergoes rigorous proofreading before this stage. 

But we still catch things after they’re posted online. Sometimes, seeing copy in a different format will let you spot mistakes. The site mentioned above likely didn’t go through that process.

Let’s look at some examples of poor copy that destroys trust in the product or service

This first example was the inspiration for this post. Seeing it in my inbox, I was immediately distrustful. Why? Because the picture states it’s a 3-in-1 charger, but the listing says it’s a 4-in-1 charger. Someone’s lying.

It seems the company knows 4-in-1 sounds better than 3-in-1—more’s better, right? But being unable to keep their story straight within the space of a few lines is cause for concern. I’m confused about what the product actually does and what functions it has. I’m also suspicious. 

Also, the only line of copy doesn’t start with a capital letter. It doesn’t have end punctuation. Is it a heading? Is it a sentence? Maybe it’s a bullet point? It’s also confusing. I’m not sure how the cable being retractable facilitates easy charging. Surely the benefit of a retractable cable is that it’s neat and tidy.

This example appeared in my Facebook feed. At first glance, it seems to be a cure or treatment for constipation. The first line of the copy is intriguing. “The response has been nuts since I last posted about this”—but the absence of a period gives me pause. The biggest issue I have here is with the word anus. In fact, the phrase clogged anus is generally awkward and unappealing. 

The caption at the bottom says, “The best belly flattener I’ve ever tried.” So, it would appear this product is actually related to weight loss. Clogged anus makes me think of constipation, not weight loss. 

There’s also an image of a person’s intestines superimposed over the picture. This confused me even more. Does this product relieve constipation or burn fat? Either way, nothing about this ad makes me want to click on the call to action. I’m confused, distrustful, and wary.

The “ick” factor is high, but not for the reasons you assume

The following example comes from a crowdfunding site. Again we have some poor word choices that do not help this copy. I understand it is targeting environmentally-conscious women. Women who are concerned about the pollution created by regular disposable menstruation pads. But I’m not sure referring to them as reusable menstruation pads is the best strategy. 

For example, we don’t refer to them as reusable diapers. They’re referred to as cloth diapers. Yes, they are reusable. But calling them cloth diapers is much less off-putting than reusable diapers. They could have done a better job with the first line of this copy. 

The next part of this copy that I don’t like is the tagline. I bet somebody thought they were being clever with “a little less shitty for you and the environment.” First, that seems like a mixed metaphor. Shitty can mean terrible, but when we’re talking about bodily functions, it’s confusing. 

Additionally, this reusable menstruation pad could significantly impact the environment. It depends on how many times you can reuse it. That could be more than a little less shitty for the environment. People tend to emphasize the environmentally friendly angle of their product—not downplay it. 

Connotation—another way poor copy destroys trust

The final English example I have is definitely for weight loss, but again, it features a poor choice of words. As a university instructor, I emphasized the importance of denotation and connotation. For example, thin, skinny, and slim have the same denotation—they mean “not overweight.” I would ask my students which of these three words would they would consider a compliment. 

• Wow, you’re so thin.
• Wow, you’re so skinny.
• Wow, you’re so slim. 

My students usually answered that slim was the most complimentary. Thin and skinny have a negative connotation or “extra feeling.” They carry the sense of being unhealthy or malnourished. Slim carries the connotation of being not overweight—but in a healthy way. Thus, the product Skinnylab may be sending the wrong message. 

There was a famous diet shake from the 1980s called SlimFast. It wasn’t called ThinFast or SkinnyFast. But SlimFast originated in the US, whereas Skinny Lab comes from Korea. Perhaps the native-speaking copywriters knew something the non-native English-speaking copywriters didn’t.

In Korea, you should use native Korean-speaking copywriters and proofreaders

I’d like to finish with a couple of Korean examples to help make my point. Native-speaking copywriters tend to be familiar with the language. This ad uses a clever play on words. 

The English translation reads, “This is Seoul. Why are you living in the countryside?” But the word “지방” (ji-bang) can mean both countryside and fat. I doubt a non-native speaker would’ve come up with this clever double entendre. (Why are you living in the countryside/Why are you living wrapped in fat?)

My final example is also Korean. It is related to the smash hit Netflix show “Squid Game.” The first children’s game played in that show is the Korean version of Red Light, Green Light. When playing the game in Korean, “it” covers their eyes and repeats the phrase “무궁화 꽃 이 피었 습니다.” That means “The rose of Sharon has bloomed.” The transliteration is “Mugunghwa kkot-chi pi-eot seumnida.” 

Someone should’ve given this attempted translation a red light

Somebody wanted to capitalize on the show’s popularity. They designed a Korean t-shirt using the doll’s silhouette from the game. To the untrained eye, this looks fine. But any Korean reading this is doing one of two things.

They’re either laughing hysterically or trying to figure out what the heck this means. The first half of the top line is correct—the rose of Sharon. But the second part is not a Korean word. Some people (incorrectly) allege that it’s slang for penis and/or vagina. Yet the Koreans I’ve checked with have said the word has no meaning.

The bottom line is also gibberish. The closest translation would be, “It’s the bloom sound of the Rose of Sharon kko-jji.” I’m uncertain how these Korean typos were achieved. But searching for this incorrect phrase on Google returns almost 9,000 results. The mistranslation is spreading—and fast. Yet, there are only five search results on the most popular Korean search engine, Naver.

This is why you need to involve a native-speaking proofreader. If you don’t read Korean, you could easily Google the phrase and copy and paste this incorrect one. It’s written in the Korean alphabet (Hangul). It looks right. That must mean it’s right. It ain’t right. Not at all. I can confidently assert no native Koreans were involved in making these shirts. 

This is so perplexing I had to dig deeper. Squid Game debuted on September 17th. The first post using the incorrect phrase that I can find appears on September 21st on a lyrics site. Very interestingly, it lists the line as 무궁화 꼬찌 피엇 소리다 (Mugunghwa Kkoci Pieot Seumnida). What’s so interesting is that the Romanization, while non-standard, is correct. Yet the Korean is incorrect. I wonder if it spread from this one site. So confusing.

Engaging content and error-free copy are your best chance to avoid poor copy that destroys trust

Writing copy that sells and draws customers in is never easy. Native English speakers use copywriters to do the job for them. They also use proofreaders to help accomplish this task. If English isn’t your native language, use a native English-speaking proofreader. It’s the best way to get your message across effectively in English. 

Using someone at your company who can translate might be a good first step. But translating something from one language to another doesn’t always work. The first Korean example above would not work in English. The double meaning of “ji-bang” (fat/countryside) wouldn’t translate. You’d need someone to rework the idea or come up with something new.

Using a native English-speaking copywriter for your English copy doesn’t mean you’ve failed. The same goes for using a native Korean-speaking copywriter for your Korean copy. You are not inferior. You’re smart enough to want to do the job properly rather than cutting corners to save a few bucks.

If you need help with your English copy, don’t hesitate to contact me. Remember, I even offer a free service for short, simple tasks. What’s better than free help? But you gotta ask! Oh, and if you’ve got any inside info on the Squid Game mistranslation, please share! It’s driving me crazy—my wife will no longer indulge me on the topic.

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